Terrible weather
Every Saturday morning the husband goes fishing. He gets up early, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long. So, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, makes his lunch, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck. Coming out of his garage, rain is pouring down in a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain and the wind is blowing 50 miles per hour. Few minutes later, he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to check the weather forecast. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."
To which she sleepily replies, "I know, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
To which she sleepily replies, "I know, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
Women and IT
Reason why Women cannot work in IT.
All they need in life is a reflecting surface... ???
All they need in life is a reflecting surface... ???
Seven wonders
A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids, 2. Taj Mahal, 3. Grand Canyon, 4. Panama Canal, 5. Empire State Building, 6. St. Peter's Basilica, 7. China's Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."
The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."
The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:
The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids, 2. Taj Mahal, 3. Grand Canyon, 4. Panama Canal, 5. Empire State Building, 6. St. Peter's Basilica, 7. China's Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.
The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."
The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."
The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:
- To See
- To Hear
- To Touch
- To Taste
- To Feel
- To Laugh
- and To Love."
The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!
Penguin message
Want to send a personal note/message to your dear and near?
Here is a penguin to help you with that.
Here is a penguin to help you with that.
Human Mind
If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink. If you stare at the black + in the center, the moving dot turns to green.
Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture. After a short period of time, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating.
It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear.
This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.
Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture. After a short period of time, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating.
It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear.
This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.
Hallmark cards... Fun Inside
1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me .
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .
9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
11. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
12. Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!
13. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
14. How can I say this....
(Inside card) - Your cooking kills me
15. Hooray.....
(Inside card) - You're divorced.
16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.
1 7. Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
18. Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.
19. We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me .
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .
9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....
(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking
11. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
12. Thank you for being part of my life.....
(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!
13. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
14. How can I say this....
(Inside card) - Your cooking kills me
15. Hooray.....
(Inside card) - You're divorced.
16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...
(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.
1 7. Congrats on getting married...
(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
18. Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) - Someone other than you.
19. We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) - What do you say we stop?
Definition of Girlfriend
Jo har baat par tok-tok kar
tumhari har aadat badal de,
aur ek saal baad bole
“ab tum pehle jaise nahi rahe”
tumhari har aadat badal de,
aur ek saal baad bole
“ab tum pehle jaise nahi rahe”
Birthday present
A wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband:
"Buy me a surprise for my birthday" she said. "Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 within 4 seconds"
"... and I would prefer a blue one please!"
Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.
And finally she got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully bought.
Click here to see the present
"Buy me a surprise for my birthday" she said. "Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 within 4 seconds"
"... and I would prefer a blue one please!"
Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.
And finally she got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully bought.
Click here to see the present
Life after death
BOSS said to an employee:
"Do you believe in life after Death?"
EMPLOYEE:
"Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.
BOSS:
"Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."
"Do you believe in life after Death?"
EMPLOYEE:
"Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.
BOSS:
"Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."
Punctuation is powerful
An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
(dedicated to woman on this womans day)
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
(dedicated to woman on this womans day)
Marriage - Fun
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage... it is self-defense!
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Its difficult 2 understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!
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What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
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It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
-------------------------------
A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!
-------------------------------
Sagaai hui... Shaadi Hui... Biwi ghar main aayi...
ghar SWARG ban gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI...
-------------------------------
Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.
-------------------------------
Its difficult 2 understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!
-------------------------------
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
-------------------------------
It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
-------------------------------
A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!
-------------------------------
Sagaai hui... Shaadi Hui... Biwi ghar main aayi...
ghar SWARG ban gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI...
-------------------------------
Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat.
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.
Coffee or Cup ?
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to
help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:
"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead :)
help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:
"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead :)
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