Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:
** Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss isA few bits of love compiled into A byte.
** Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.
** Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
** Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
** Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
** Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
** Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in the state of contraction.
** Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
** Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is A credit because it is profitable when returned.
** Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
** Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.
** Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
** Prof. of English:
A kiss is A noun that is used asA conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
** Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.
New element of the periodic table
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam Edenwarden
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from 40 - 200 kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with thin painted film
2. Boils at room Temperature
3. Freezes without any known reason
4. Melts if given special treatment
5. Bitter if incorrectly used
6. Found in various states, ranging from metals to common ore
7. Ductile
8. Yields to pressure applied at correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason
3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
!!! WARNING !!!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS !
NOTE: New properties are still being discovered. Please wait for updates.
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