Little Jhonny Jokes

"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not!" answered his mother.
"If you do," Little Johnny went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? what did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"

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Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

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Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...'"
"Johnny !" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."
"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."

Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "