What they really mean...

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills,and later kills you with his bills.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atomic Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Rumour : News that travels faster than the speed of sound.
Classic : An item which people praise, but do not use it.
Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gains her master's.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Optimist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
IT Professional : One who gets paid for sending and receiving e-mails, like this one!