Guess the Festival

Can you guess which Indian Festival this is?

Guess the Festival

If you thought it is Krishna Janmastmi... then you are WRONG!

It is a festival celebrating the bond of affection between brothers and sisters ;)
It is Raksha Bhandhan

Love vs. Arranged marriage

Love Marriage Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain .Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible
Family system hangs because hardware (called parents) is not responding.Compatible with hardware (Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life .
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc .All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....Arranged Marriage is like Unix ... boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust

Software Engineers - jumping

This is how Software Engineers jump from company to company.

Best SMS of the Year


3rd Best SMS:
Boys go to college to develop the mind; girls go to college to catch them before this happens.

2nd Best SMS:
Arguing with a girl is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time, u realize that u r getting dirty, but the pig is actually enjoying.
 
Top SMS:
How amazing!! - A mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 years, but a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 mins.

At the Mental Asylum

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized.
 
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
 
 1. Would you use the spoon?
 2. Would you use the tea cup?
 3. Would you use the bucket?
 
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon and the cup."
 
"No"  said the director - A normal person would........
 
"A normal person would pull the plug and let the water flow out"

How Smart ?

How Smart Is Your Right Foot ?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And even if you keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot... you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it.

Make sure you pass this on to your friends...

Twelve Pound Gold


A Husband and Wife, both were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that was born to them. Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of a famous newspaper and reported that he became the proud owner of  a "twelve pound nugget of gold". The editor upon hearing the seemingly extraordinary news was rather hesitant to accept it at its face value. So he sent his star reporter to interview Mr. Brown.
 
When the reporter came, Mr. Brown was away and his wife was alone at home.
 The following interesting conversation took place between the reporter and Mrs. Brown:
 
Reporter : Does Mr. Brown Live here?
Mrs. Brown : Oh! Yes.
 
Reporter : Is he in?
Mrs. Brown : Why no, he went somewhere.
 
Reporter : Is it true that he owns a "twelve pound nugget of gold"?
Mrs. Brown : (Seeing the joke) Yes, indeed.
 
Reporter : Can I see the place where he found it?
Mrs. Brown : I am afraid, not because Mr. Brown objects in as much as it is strictly private.
 
Reporter : Is the place far?
Mrs. Brown : No, it is quite near and convenient.
 
Reporter : How many years has Mr. Brown been digging the hole?
Mrs. Brown : Just for about ten months.
 
Reporter : Is the hole deep?
Mrs. Brown : Quite so...
 
Reporter : Has Mr. Brown reached the bottom of it?
Mrs. Brown : Not yet, but he is coming near...
 
Reporter : At about what time does Mr. Brown starts digging?
Mrs. Brown : Oh, he does his digging mostly at night.
 
Reporter : Does he work hard on it?
Mrs. Brown : You bet...........and how he perspires.
 
Reporter : Is Mr. Brown the first to dig?
Mrs. Brown : He thought he was...
 
Reporter : How do you know there was someone ahead of him?
Mrs. Brown : I am in a good position to say so, because I owe the place.
 
Reporter : Oh, I see, but you sold the place to Mr. Brown?
Mrs. Brown : No, but for the present, he has the legal title to the site, with my consent.
 
Reporter : Has Mr. Brown any helper when he works on the claim?
Mrs. Brown : Yes, I work under him...
 
Reporter : When do you think Mr. Brown will sell the place?
Mrs. Brown : I think not because he enjoys working on it.
 
Reporter : Can I see the twelve pound nugget of gold?
Mrs. Brown : Yes, certainly (and she showed him the twelve pound baby boy).
 
P.S.: The reporter has to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance.
 

Flight Attendant

This  joke is from our dutch collegue

A guy, sitting in Danny's Bar at Singapore's Changi Airport, noticed a very beautiful woman sitting next to him.
He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta Airlines Slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, "Damn, she doesn't work for Delta".

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"
She gave him the same confused look.
He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.
Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as silk."
This time the woman turned on him "What the f**k do you want?
The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair,
and said, "Ahhhhh...... KLM !"

Two Italians

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following;

"Emma come first. Den I come.
Two asses, dey come together. I come again.
Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice.
Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa ta spella Mississippi."

A Young Camel

A young camel was bored one day and started asking his mother questions.

"Why do we have large three toed feet?"
"So we don't sink while walking in the soft sands of the desert," his mother replied.

"Why do we have long eyelashes?" was the next question.
"To stop the sand of the desert storms getting in our eyes," was the exasperated reply.

"Why do we have a large hump on our back?"
"So we can cross the many miles of desert without needing water," his mother snapped.

"So what the hell are we doing in this zoo?"