Hearing Problem!
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.
He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.
He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response.
Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"
He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no response.
He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response.
Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"
Whats Killing British
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
Sardar Jokes
Boss: Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : What do you mean... which part? My whole body is born in punjab.
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai. (Thats an amazing car.. that starts with Tea.. our Car starts with Petrol)
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte.... Every year.
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more
American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : What do you mean... which part? My whole body is born in punjab.
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai. (Thats an amazing car.. that starts with Tea.. our Car starts with Petrol)
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte.... Every year.
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more
American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
Appraisal Letter
Dear Manager (HR),
Signed - Project Leader
NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13)for my true assessment of him.
- Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found
- hard at work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without
- wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never
- thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
- finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended
- measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
- breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
- vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
- knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be
- classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
- dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be
- promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
- sent away as soon as possible.
Signed - Project Leader
NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13)for my true assessment of him.
You Can be A Hero
"You Dont Need To Jump Off Buildings to be a Hero."
Click to see.. HOW You can be a Hero.
Click to see.. HOW You can be a Hero.
The IT Reality !
One day a man was having a conversation with God when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked God "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" to which God answered
"Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you in my hands"
--- NOW IN THE IT WORLD ---
Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which the PM answered
"Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times, I was sitting on your head!!"
"Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you in my hands"
--- NOW IN THE IT WORLD ---
Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which the PM answered
"Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times, I was sitting on your head!!"
Some Jokes
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
-------
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
-------
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
-------
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
-------
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
-------
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
-------
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
-------
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
-------
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
-------
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
-------
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
-------
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
-------
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
-------
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
-------
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
-------
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
-------
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
-------
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
-------
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
-------
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
-------
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
Stupid Questions - Smart Answers
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Indian Moms
A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
"Wow That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
The Indian mother replies, " I don't like her ".
He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
"Wow That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
The Indian mother replies, " I don't like her ".
Hot Air Balloon
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know."
"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must work in business."
"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help... You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
The man below says: "Yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know."
"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must work in business."
"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help... You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
Sardar Detective
A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first Singh answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first Singh answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Sardar and Tiger
Sardar Dhakaan Singh is a big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate.
Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely. Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun.
While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep.
At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right.
Then cleverly, Dhakaan put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger ran into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward.
After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. Once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.
After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him.
Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road.
Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake.
The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.
NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY ??
ANSWER BELOW............
MORAL: "There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely. Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage. Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun.
While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep.
At that time the road separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right.
Then cleverly, Dhakaan put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger ran into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward.
After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. Once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side.
After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him.
Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road.
Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake.
The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.
NOW TELL ME WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY ??
ANSWER BELOW............
MORAL: "There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Little Jhonny Jokes
"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not!" answered his mother.
"If you do," Little Johnny went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? what did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...'"
"Johnny !" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."
"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "
"Certainly not!" answered his mother.
"If you do," Little Johnny went on, "I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. "Well? what did he say?"
"He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6.
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'
"What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...'"
"Johnny !" shouted his mother. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."
"But, Mom," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "
Bug in Notepad
This is really weird. Follow the steps below...
I am curious... What does it finally say ??
- Open an empty notepad file
- Type "Bush hid the facts" (without the quotes)
- Save it as whatever you want and where ever u want.
- Close it, and re-open it (in Notepad).
- TADA!!!
I am curious... What does it finally say ??
Preist and Doorbell
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Come on! Run! before the door opens"
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Come on! Run! before the door opens"
Summary of Bhagavad Gita
Bhagavad Gita translated for IT world. This is written in Hindi.
The actual summary of Bhagavad Gita can be found here, in English.
The actual summary of Bhagavad Gita can be found here, in English.
How Software is Developed
Here is a Funny pic that explain what generally happens during the development of a Software Program.
A Marriage Invitation in Orkut
This is called the Height of Marriage Invitation.
These guys have customised Orkut to look like a Marriage Invitaion.. Have a look.
These guys have customised Orkut to look like a Marriage Invitaion.. Have a look.
Stress Tension and Panic
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant
And Panic is when both are pregnant
Stress is when wife is pregnant
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant
And Panic is when both are pregnant
Sardar - Application Form
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX.
He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.
On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he the column SEX.
He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.
On seeing this in his appln. form, he was told that it was wrong and what they wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.
Bill in Hell
Bill Gates dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him, "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a PC in the corner.
Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
Lucifer: That was Bill Gates! Why did you give him the best place of all?
Satan: That's what everyone thinks!
Lucifer: What about the PC?
Satan (laughing): It's got Windows 95! And it's missing three keys!
Lucifer: Which three?
Satan (screaming): Control, Alt and Delete!
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a PC in the corner.
Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.
Lucifer: That was Bill Gates! Why did you give him the best place of all?
Satan: That's what everyone thinks!
Lucifer: What about the PC?
Satan (laughing): It's got Windows 95! And it's missing three keys!
Lucifer: Which three?
Satan (screaming): Control, Alt and Delete!
Try breaking this glass
This is an Ad of 3M. 3M is so confident about its Security Glass.. they put real money between their security glasses.. openly in a Bus Stop.. WOW!!!
Electric Shock?
This is a Funny and Educative picture.. showing the effects of different amounts of Electricity.
Beauty without Brains?
A man goes to heaven after death.
He gets to meet God and asks Him if he can ask a few questions.
"Sure", God replies.
"OK", the man says. "Why did you make women so beautiful?"
God says, "So you would love them."
The man thinks for a while and then asks, "But then why did you make them such airheads?"
God says, "So they would love YOU!"
Watch this video to believe it.
He gets to meet God and asks Him if he can ask a few questions.
"Sure", God replies.
"OK", the man says. "Why did you make women so beautiful?"
God says, "So you would love them."
The man thinks for a while and then asks, "But then why did you make them such airheads?"
God says, "So they would love YOU!"
Watch this video to believe it.
Are you in a Bar?
A Girl friend calls her Boyfriend, she hears noise and asks if he is in a bar. This guy has actually skipped boring party with her family and enjoying in a Bar.
Now how does he react... watch this video.. it is very very nice.
Now how does he react... watch this video.. it is very very nice.
Do you know who I am
"Do you know who I am?" This can be a very very smart question... if asked at the right time.
After watching this video You'll be careful before saying "I have no idea who you are"
After watching this video You'll be careful before saying "I have no idea who you are"
Spicy Food
This is what happens if you eat a lot of Spicy food. Watch this video for more details...
Microsoft - New Chaiman
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Vella Reddy an Indian guy (Language:Telugu).
Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to
himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'.
Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Reddy turns to the other candidate and says 'ellaa vunnavu babu?' (how are you)
The other candidate answers 'baguunanu babu' (I am fine)
Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to
himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'.
Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Reddy turns to the other candidate and says 'ellaa vunnavu babu?' (how are you)
The other candidate answers 'baguunanu babu' (I am fine)
Funny IT Quotes
UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.
--Dennis Ritchie
Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
--Ralph Johnson
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-Steve McConnell
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
-Gerald Weinberg
Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't
needed?' Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.
--Steve McConnell Code Complete
No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawless presentation
is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
--Robert Firth
Fifty years of programming language research and we end up with C++?
--Richard A. O'Keefe
C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
--Edsger Dijkstra
--Dennis Ritchie
Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
--Ralph Johnson
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.
It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-Steve McConnell
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
-Gerald Weinberg
Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't
needed?' Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.
--Steve McConnell Code Complete
No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawless presentation
is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
--Robert Firth
Fifty years of programming language research and we end up with C++?
--Richard A. O'Keefe
C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
--Edsger Dijkstra
Gujarati Blood Donation
An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn 't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries.
Finally a Gujarati in Ahmedabad was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.
The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him that this time also i thought that you would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewellery..... But you gave only a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets.
On this the Arab replied " Bapu.....now I have Gujju blood in my veins!"
Jakkas (Chokkas) ne ? ;)
Finally a Gujarati in Ahmedabad was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.
The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him that this time also i thought that you would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewellery..... But you gave only a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets.
On this the Arab replied " Bapu.....now I have Gujju blood in my veins!"
Jakkas (Chokkas) ne ? ;)
Italian Girl
Woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl!!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said
"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl !!!"
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl!!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said
"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl !!!"
Complicated Name
A Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman" arrived at the New york airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to call his name, he got fedup and went to them and asked why they havent called his name yet.
They said that they have been calling him for last 2 hrs as
..
..
..
..
..
'Anotherman Superman'
They said that they have been calling him for last 2 hrs as
..
..
..
..
..
'Anotherman Superman'
Baby Seal or Taser
This cute looking Baby Seal can deliver a 195 volt 0.3 milliamp charge which is enough to cause significant pain and muscle contractions but not actually injure or kill.
To know who needs this, click here...
3 Monkeys
Man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a monkey.
The shop owner pointed out three identical monkeys and said, "The monkey to the left costs 500 dollars."
"Why does that monkey cost so much?" the man wondered.
The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."
The man asked about the next monkey on the perch.
"That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other monkey can do, plus it knows how to use the LINUX operating system."
Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third monkey.
"That one costs 2,000 dollars."
"And what does that one do?" the man asked.
The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him doing anything, but the other two call him Manager !"
The shop owner pointed out three identical monkeys and said, "The monkey to the left costs 500 dollars."
"Why does that monkey cost so much?" the man wondered.
The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."
The man asked about the next monkey on the perch.
"That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other monkey can do, plus it knows how to use the LINUX operating system."
Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third monkey.
"That one costs 2,000 dollars."
"And what does that one do?" the man asked.
The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him doing anything, but the other two call him Manager !"
Amazing Coincidence
Henry Ziegland thought he had dodged fate. In 1883, he broke off a relationship with his girlfriend who, out of distress, committed suicide. The girl's brother was so enraged that he hunted down Ziegland and shot him. The brother, believing he had killed Ziegland, then turned his gun on himself and took his own life. But Ziegland had not been killed. The bullet, in fact, had only grazed his face and then lodged in a tree. Ziegland surely thought himself a lucky man. Some years later, however, Ziegland decided to cut down the large tree, which still had the bullet in it. The task seemed so formidable that he decided to blow it up with a few sticks of dynamite. The explosion propelled the bullet into Ziegland's head, killing him. (Source: Ripley's Believe It or Not!)
More Amazing Coincidences can be found here
More Amazing Coincidences can be found here
Sardar Jokes
Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully
in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population: "In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid."
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur
password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully
in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population: "In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid."
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur
password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
Indian Cricket Jokes
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings.
Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
When would Agarkar have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.
How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.
What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls
What is the height of optimism ?
Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
Phone Call for Sehwag
Indian Team Manager: "Hello"(over Phone)
Wife: "Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife."
Indian Team Manager: "Sorry ma'am, he is just going to bat "
Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"
The entire Indian Innings.
Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
When would Agarkar have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.
What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.
How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.
What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls
What is the height of optimism ?
Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
Phone Call for Sehwag
Indian Team Manager: "Hello"(over Phone)
Wife: "Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife."
Indian Team Manager: "Sorry ma'am, he is just going to bat "
Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"
Future Tense
Teacher: "Sania eats grass today". Now tell it in future tense.
Student: " Sania will give milk tomorrow"
Student: " Sania will give milk tomorrow"
Computer Shayari Part2
Apne chehre se ruswaiyoon ka ERROR to hatao,
janeman apne dil ka PASSWORD to batao!
Wo to hum hai jo aap ki chahat ko dil mein rakh ke ghoomte hai,
warna aap jaise SOFTWARES to bazaar mein bikte hai!
Roz raat ko aap mere sapno mein aati ho,
mere pyar ko MOUSE bana ke apni ungaliyoon se nachati ho!
Tere pyar ka E-MAIL mere dil ko lubhata hai,
par beech mein tere bhai ka VIRUS aa jata hai!
Keval aap jaiso ke liye dil ko CUT karte hai,
warna baki CASES mein COPY PASTE se kaam karte hai!
Aap ka hasna,aap ka chalna,aap ki wo style,
aap ki in aadaoon ki humne SAVE karli hai ek FILE!
Ab aur nahi sah sakte hum intezaar,humare dil ki SITE pe jaldi ENTER karo yaar!
Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!
Shayad mere pyar ko Taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa 'cut' kiya
Ke 'paste' karna bhool gaye...
Laakhon honge nigaah mein kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke 'icon' pe
kabhi to 'double-click' karo...
Roz subha hum karte hain pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise '0 errors aur 5 warning'...
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
there is no more 'disk space'.
Ghar se jab tum nikale pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya 'server down'.
Jabse meri zindagi mein,aayi hai ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya computer, kya e-mail.
Dil se ek 'ishq ki Ek application' kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se 'debug' karna, mein wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection'time out' ho gaya..
Tere Pyar ke liye zami-aasma ek kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi 'Ctrl+alt+delete' kar doonga...
janeman apne dil ka PASSWORD to batao!
Wo to hum hai jo aap ki chahat ko dil mein rakh ke ghoomte hai,
warna aap jaise SOFTWARES to bazaar mein bikte hai!
Roz raat ko aap mere sapno mein aati ho,
mere pyar ko MOUSE bana ke apni ungaliyoon se nachati ho!
Tere pyar ka E-MAIL mere dil ko lubhata hai,
par beech mein tere bhai ka VIRUS aa jata hai!
Keval aap jaiso ke liye dil ko CUT karte hai,
warna baki CASES mein COPY PASTE se kaam karte hai!
Aap ka hasna,aap ka chalna,aap ki wo style,
aap ki in aadaoon ki humne SAVE karli hai ek FILE!
Ab aur nahi sah sakte hum intezaar,humare dil ki SITE pe jaldi ENTER karo yaar!
Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!
Shayad mere pyar ko Taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa 'cut' kiya
Ke 'paste' karna bhool gaye...
Laakhon honge nigaah mein kabhi mujhe bhi pick karo...
Mere pyaar ke 'icon' pe
kabhi to 'double-click' karo...
Roz subha hum karte hain pyar se unhe good morning...
Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain
jaise '0 errors aur 5 warning'...
Aisa bhi nahin hai ke I don't like your face.
Par dil ke storage mein
there is no more 'disk space'.
Ghar se jab tum nikale pehen ke reshmi gown.
Jaane kitne dilon ka
ho gaya 'server down'.
Jabse meri zindagi mein,aayi hai ik female.
Bhool gaya hai sab kuchh
kya computer, kya e-mail.
Dil se ek 'ishq ki Ek application' kar raha hoon.
Pyaar se 'debug' karna, mein wait kar raha hoon.
Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.
Yeh dekho mera connection'time out' ho gaya..
Tere Pyar ke liye zami-aasma ek kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to apni zindagi 'Ctrl+alt+delete' kar doonga...
Boys will be Boys
A girl checked her weight - 58 Kg.
Removed Sandal - 56 Kg.
Then Jacket - 53 Kg.
Then Dupatta - 52 Kg.
Then guess what happend
........................
Then... NO more coins with her.
A boy in queue behind her said - U carry on. I'll put the coins!
Removed Sandal - 56 Kg.
Then Jacket - 53 Kg.
Then Dupatta - 52 Kg.
Then guess what happend
........................
Then... NO more coins with her.
A boy in queue behind her said - U carry on. I'll put the coins!
How to propose?
When I saw your name next to mine,
In our wedding card,
I felt blessed.
When I saw you smile,
Seeing me in the traditional bride groom dress,
I felt teased.
When I held your hand,
During the marriage rituals,
I felt responsible.
When you entered my lonely bachelor life,
And changed it into a heavenly abode,
I felt lucky.
When you showed the same love as I did,
Towards my parents,
I felt proud.
When you scolded me,
For neglecting my heath amidst my hectic work,
I felt pampered.
When I saw you scream,
Crying out of labor pains,
I felt helpless.
When I saw tears of happiness in your eyes,
As you looked at our kid,
I felt blessed once again.
All these feeling have bloomed in my heart,
But are yet to blossom in reality.
As these are feelings I long to feel,
For these are still unfelt.
Will you marry me?
In our wedding card,
I felt blessed.
When I saw you smile,
Seeing me in the traditional bride groom dress,
I felt teased.
When I held your hand,
During the marriage rituals,
I felt responsible.
When you entered my lonely bachelor life,
And changed it into a heavenly abode,
I felt lucky.
When you showed the same love as I did,
Towards my parents,
I felt proud.
When you scolded me,
For neglecting my heath amidst my hectic work,
I felt pampered.
When I saw you scream,
Crying out of labor pains,
I felt helpless.
When I saw tears of happiness in your eyes,
As you looked at our kid,
I felt blessed once again.
All these feeling have bloomed in my heart,
But are yet to blossom in reality.
As these are feelings I long to feel,
For these are still unfelt.
Will you marry me?
In Memory of Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
He replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
He replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
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