Right Mail - Wrong Female

NEVER SEND A RIGHT MAIL TO A WRONG FEMALE

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the 1st message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've reached

Date: November 30, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here;
we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.I've just reached and
have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW !

Your loving Hubby

How to Impress?

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, carees her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Arrive naked ... with beer.

Computer - Male or Female ?

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.
He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Who is right the men or woman?

George Bush - School

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech.

After his talk he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.

"Bob".
"And what is your question, Bob?"

I have 3 questions. First, why did USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?
Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand.

George points him out and asks him what his name is.

"Steve"
"And what is your question, Steve?"

I have 5 questions… First, why did USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
And fifth, where is "Bob"?