What matters? Performance or Position

A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a
loud
shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: "Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether
to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?"
The guy replies: "I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!"
God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: "Please take this
silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven..."

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a
booming voice: "I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so &
so Church for
the last 40 years."
God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: "Please take this cotton
robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ..."

"Just a minute," says the agonized Priest. "How is it that a foul
mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden
scarf and me, a
Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has
to make do with a Cotton robe?"

"Results my friend, Results", shrugs God.

"While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED"

It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.

FW: "SIMHA" MOVIE SPECIAL OFFER

Funny mail... but looks like film makers and fans are resorting to any kind of publicity(+ve or -ve).


Sent: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 11:34 AM
Subject: "SIMHA" MOVIE SPECIAL OFFER

 

Most awaited World Wide Release of the decade SIMHA is expected to break all time record Collections of AVATAR/ 3 IDIOTS etc with the bellow attractive packages:

 

Gear up to Grab the offer:

 

The below mentioned rates are applicable in Ordinary Cinemas in India irrespective of Age and Gender.

 

Entry in  the beginning of the movie: 1/-

Exit in the middle of the movie: 200/-

Exit at the end of the movie  : Not applicable.

Location: All Centers.

 

 

The below mentioned rates are applicable in India irrespective of Age and Gender.

 

Multiplexes Special Package:

 

Entry in  the beginning of the movie: Free Free Free

Exit in the middle of the movie: 500/-

Exit at the end of the movie  : Not applicable.

Location: All Centers.

 

Overseas Package:

 

Entry to the movie : Free pick-up within 10miles radius from the Cinema to respective Seats.

Exit in the middle of the movie: 75 USD  or equal amount in respective Currencies

Exit at the end of the movie  : Sorry , only first half will be screened ,assuming every one leave the Cinema by that time.

Drop Service (which would be mandatory) : 75 USD  or equal amount in respective Currencies to the nearest available Hospitals.

Location: All Centers.

 

Note: No Health Insurance company would bare the amount claimed by the SIMHA Victims. This special Clause is included in all the medical policies recently!!

 

 


Coolest Sardar

A Pakistani, a Bangladeshi and a Sardarji are sitting at a Pub in Bavaria drinking beer.

The Pakistani drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says 'In Islamabad our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice.'

The Bangladeshi [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says 'In Dhaka we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either.'
 
Our Sardar, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Pakistani and Bangladeshi. He says 'In India we have so many Pakistanis and Bangladeshis that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice'.